I think this is what I look like every time I realize how close the Tri for MS is. Less than two weeks away! This sunday is the transition run through, YIKES!
As far as the run (4 K) and the bike (20K) I am feeling pretty confident. The swim (500M) not so much. Tuesday night was a graduation to the big pool at Commonwealth. As soon as we were told we'd be going into the big pool I felt ill, then panicked, then faint, ill again, then my inner voice said RUN AWAY….repeatedly.
I really thought about going back to the teach pool, I turned around a couple times. Though, I cannot do this, I just cannot. Turned around again, felt ill, felt like crying, felt faint as I watched my team mates get in, felt ill, turned around……….and finally just got in.
I hung out in the corner for quite a while, people who CAN swim went by, I watched anxious at the numbers of people in the lane, the speed at which they were going, the waves (yes WAVES) in the pool. Finally inched my way to the wall, and finally with the help of coach Connie and some team mates, managed to push off the wall and attempt to swim.
It wasn't pretty and it wasn't fast but I made it the 25m to the other end, had a minor panic attack when I realized there is no ledge down there you just kinda hang on. Took a deep breath and tried to settle my erratic heart rate, and swam back.
I did this 3 or 4 times, until my brain stopped screaming at me to run away. And while it never was pretty, nor fast, nor a proper swim stroke I did manage to survive a swim in the big pool.
Tonight we are in the big pool *shudder* again and I will survive it again. It won't be pretty, it won't be fast and it'll likely still not be a proper swim stroke BUT I can do it.